STUCK BETWEEN THREE – CH 11– COMING OUT

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STUCK BETWEEN THREE – CH 11– COMING OUT

IN OUR LIFE THERE WILL BE SITUATIONS WHERE WE HAVE TO SELECT BETWEEN RIGHT THING AND WRONG THING. WRONG THINGS MAY SEEM EASY. BUT CHOOSING THE RIGHT THING SHOWS OUR INTEGRITY.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THE WRONG THING MAY GIVE YOU TEMPORARY PEACE BUT IN FUTURE IT IS GOING TO KILL YOU EVERY DAY.

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Sometimes people’s stories touch our hearts and we tend to imagine ourselves in that position.
Richardkatha vinna nenu na jeevitham lo jarugutunna sanghatanala gurinchi cheppanu. Richard said, “mana iddari jeevithalani polchi chooste naku anubhavinchina sanghatana ani nuvuu ippudu edurkotunnav. Nenu chesin atappu matram nuvvu cheyyavaddu ani matramn cheppagalaniu. Nijam ivvala kastam vutundi kani nuvvu abbadam tho kattina bandahlu eppatiki nilabadavu. Na jeevitham motham oka abbadapu brathuku baratihikanu nuvvu ala cheyyavdu. You have to live your life in full inthe way you want.

Richard cheppina matalu na hrudayani takayi tanatho matlade koddi naku inka matldali tana matalu vinali anipinstundi. We shared our contact details and tanu naku eppudu em problem vachhina either professional and personal call cheyyamani chepparu. I really felt thankful.

Mana jeevitham manaku chala situations lo evarina manaku help cheyyataniki vunte bagundu anipistundi. Kani issues normal friends tho discuss chesukolemu. Chala situations like
First time liking a guy, manaku teledu manaku enduku ila anipistundo evariki cheppalo arthamavadu.
Loving A guy one sidedly but manam mostly athanitho cheppalem atleast manaku a time lo adi share chesukune oka friend vunte bagundu anipistundi.
Sometimes manalini evarina criticise chesina tease chesina we feel the need of a friend to console us.
We all need friends who can accept who we are and respect us for what we are and listen to us without judging us.
We need a person to guide us how to be open about our feelings.
We all need a person who can say that “ what society says about you doesn’t matter except the fact that I support you no matter what and I am with you in any situation.

Like this I found a friend, Richard, who helped me a lot . I hope all you readers have friend like this.

Inthalo ekkadini nunchi vacchado teledu Sanju hospital ki vacchadu. He came towards me and hugged tana face motham red ayindi he was really worried about me. Tanu na kallaloki choosadu naku tana kalla lo neelu kanipichayi. Nenu bagunnanu ani cheppandu just some minor injuries.
Me: ayina Sanju nuvvu enti ikkada.
He: rescue team ki phone no accident location lo dorikindi nenu call chesthe vallu answer chesaru.
Me: ayina intha twaraga ela ragaligav
He: nenu niku call chestappatiki airport lo vunnanu nenu Ontario ki velltunna inka veltane ikkadiki vachanu.
Me: I am ok now and thanks for being here.
He: stop it, ayina nuvu intha careless ga ela vundagaltav ayina evariki cheppakunda ila ravatma enti. Calls answer cheyyav, messeges ki reply ivvav. Hospital lo intimate cheyyaledu em anukuntunnav. Are you ignoring us??
Me: Sanju i am really sorry. I doesn’t mean to do that. Its just something very personal situation I am going through. Naku em cheyyalo artham kaledu so I just ran away.
He : NIku emiana problem vunte naku cheppu i wil solve it. At Least I will be there for you.
Me: naku teledu nuvvu ela react avutavo ….. And nenu ready ga lenu soo
He: nuvvu naku edaina cheppataniki alochinchana avasaram ledu. So tell me whenever you are ready.
Me: no i will tell now. Sanju … i am Gay . I not sure how you will react.
He : That’s ok. That is your preferences daniki nuvvu enduku bayapadutunnav. It’s your life, live it as you like.
Me: ( nenu sanju intha positive react avutadu ani anukoledu) are you ok if I am gay?
He: naku em problem avuitundi. Nuvvu gay ayinatha matram ni nuvvu different kadu you are one of us and you will be one of us. My love for will never decrease just because you are Gay.

I just hugged him and cried. I never expected this positive response. Sanju was like my rock. I hope everyone reacts the same.

I introduced Richard and Sanju to each other. Matt friends ki munde inform chesaru and vallu kuda vaccharu. Aa night akkade vunnam and next morning return ayyam naku asalu ravali anipinchaledu. I don’t want to leave Richard, Sandra and Matt in that situation. Richard kuda vellu em parledu I will keep you updated about Sandra ani chepparu.

Nenu Sanju flight lo board ayyam naku motham okate alochana, nenu near ga death face chesa. Thoughts like “ WHAT IF I DIE WITHOUT BEING THE PERSON WHO I AM .
WHAT IF I DIE WITHOUT LIVING I DESIRED. WHAT IF I DIE WITHOUT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF AND MY FEELINGS.” I want to be true to myself and my people.

I prepared to come out to my parents. Sanju supported me. Sanju asked me to go alone.

Nenu lopaliki vellanu kani akkada mom kitchen lo vundi dining table daggara evaro lady vunnaru daggaraku vellli choosa adi na attaiah. Tanu enti ikkada noo.. Daddy chepparu atha valla husband ki baledu so ikkada choopinchataniki vastunnru ani konni months back chepparu vallu vastaru ani kani vallu ipppudu ikkada vuntaru ani expect cheyyaledu. Mummy and daddy kuda vaccharu. Vallu nathao matladutunnaru kani nenu em vinaledu na brian lo marioka bayam start ayyina Atha vinte ippudu tanu entha gidva chestundo She was always mean to me. Nenu ippudu correct time kadu nenu comeout avavtaniki ani fresh avutaniki veltanunnanu. BUT nenu okkka nimishma aganu ippudu nenu cheppaka pothe nenu malli inka eppatiki chppekapovacchu I dont want to waste anymore time So i came back…

“Amma Nanna …. I am GAY,”
They were shocked hearing that
Amma kallao nillu start ayyayi…
Mom: what ??? Is it a prank or something.
Me: NO maa I am GAY i like men .
MOm : how do you know and are you sure.
Me: I think I always knew but I not sure.So may be if nenu oka ammaini kaluste normal avtanu anukunna But now i am sure that i am gay.
Mom: may be it is just a phase.
Me: No mom it’s not just a phase adi reality nenu gay.
Mom: I always thought you and kriti are dating.
Me: I tried but I can’t may I feel her as my friend.
Amma nenu matladutunnatha sepu Dad silent ga vunnaru me matladledu.
Mom to Dad: edokati cheppandi silent ga vunanru enti.

Dad: Let’s stop it, go and sleep, let’s talk tomorrow. Its already late.

I went to my room naku enno rakala emotion bayam mummy ela receive chesukundi emo ani. Bhada like I am hurting them. And feeling of happiness finally I can be the person who I am. The feeling is like coming out from a suffocating closet and taking a breath. Oka feeling naku emi secrets levu evarikaina telustundi ani bayapadtaaniki.

Kani inka evo bayalu kriti ema nukuntundo and Atha India lo entha godava chestundo ani.

Next morning,
Nenu office ki ready ayyi kindaki vacchanu naku arthamaindi intlo evaru sarigganidrapoledu ani amma inka bayataki raledu and breakfast athaiah prepare chestundi. Dad ni adiga amma edi. Ayina mother ki baledu ani cheppa. Nenu velli amma tho matladtaniki try chesi but she was not ready em adiga just one word answers istundi. Naku arthamindi she is still angry with me ani. Dad atha valla husband treatment details chepparu. Dad ivvala ayina office ki leave petaru amy be navvalle ayi vundocchu and he wants to drop me at hospital.

Dari lo he started talking about last night’s topic.
Dad: Arya, we love you. We respect you opinions, we can’t change the fact who you are.
Memu educated parents ayyi vundocchu America vundocchu kani memu perigina environment veru ma paddathulu veru maku ivvani pedda vishyalu. Nuvvu vacchi nuvvu gay ani cheppagane positive ga accept chestam expect cheyyaku. It takes time, maybe days or months. Idi antha maku kotha maku ela react avvalo em cheppalo kuda artham kaledu. So have some patience and give us some time.
Me: Dad I am sorry. I am hurting you
Dad: You don’t need to be sorry it is who you are. But kani memu parents maku mi paina bhaviashythu paina chala asalu enno expectation pettukunnam. Mi amma ayithe mari niku ilanti ammaini icchi pelli cheyyali. Ni pillala tho adukovali valla life events ela celebrate chesukovali ani enno anukundi. Nuvvu tana prapnacham kani nuvvu oka roju vacchi tana prapancham antha abbadam anic chepithe tanu tattukoledu. Tanu nitho mtaldakopovacchu. Sarriga vundakaovacchu adi antha ni piana prema matrame.
Na situation veru I ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE GAY. kani mi amma ala kadu she needs time.
Me: Dad milu ela telsu, and enduku natha eppudu cheppaledu.
Dad: I am your father and I know everything about you. Nuvvu school college lo vunnappudu or in all these years nuvu ni girlfriend gurichi matldaledu and eppudu marriage topic vacchina avoid chesav. Nuvvu manam Hyderbad move ayinappti nuvvu evari gurinchi ayina matladav ante adi Arjun matrame. Nenu first lo may be adi friendhip anukunna but nuvvu US move ayina taruvatha 2 year or 3year na laptop work cheyyakpaothe ni laptop use chesa aa time lo ni browsing history and konni files choosa. I was shocked em cheyyalo artham kaledu.
Me: mari natho enduku matladaledu.
Dad: em matladali.As a parent I was always happy with you, nuvvu oka manchi son vi manchi student vi maku em complaints levu nuvvu mamalini eppudu em adaganu kuda ledu. Ee matter telisina taruivatha Naku em matladalo kuda teledu. So I decided to give you time. Nuvvu ready ayinappudu matladam anukunna. nenu reserch start chesa Iearnt about GAY I visited psychologist and I joined support groups (supports groups of parents and whose children are gay) I found it is normal and it happens we can’t change the fact who you are Mi mother tho ee vishyanni nenu eppudu discuss cheyyalekapoyanu tanu ni paina pettukunna hopes ni choosi. But we will try to change her just have some patience and wait for her.
(WITH TEARS IN MY EYES i CRIED HUGGING HIM)
ME: Thanks Nana, thanks for understanding me. Thanks for being the best father

So friends, I hope you like this story. Mostly this is a emotional part. That’s how Arya Comes out to his parents.

I want to say something to people who want to comeout,
1.Be honest with yourself about friends, family members, and others in your world who are homophobic, transphobic, and/or otherwise, and don’t assume they’ll change their opinions for you
2. Read about other people’s coming out experiences so you know in advance what you might encounter from others, as well as how you might feel
3. Move as slowly as you need to through the process to make sure you don’t get overwhelmed, don’t make it a surprise or shock to your parents or friends.
4. Start preparing them by showing LGBTQ content and educate them.Have resources ready for loved ones about how they can best support you.Know the facts and be prepared to share them. For example, you can mention that acceptance of family members’ LGBTQ+ identities saves lives
5. Come Out only when you are financially settled or when your situation demands you.
6. Try to build a support system who will support you in this journey.
7. Come Out only if you are ready to face adverse situations.
8. Never let someone blackmail or critsize you. Always keep in mind self respect is first. Be aware of the people you meet online.
9. Don’t expect a positive or welcoming response just give them time and wait.

I want to know how Many of you have a person either a friend or relative with whom you can share your feelings and who is going to support you.
Any ideas or things you want to add please mention it in the comment box below. Any feedback or opinions.
You can talk to me at @[email protected]

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Raahul
Raahul
16 days ago

Really appreciate your courage, most of the people who are thinking about they were gay and they can’t express cause of society , and their families but ur story was inspiration for those people

P Ashokkumar
P Ashokkumar
15 days ago

Love you forever 😍.best story

Gopal Gopal
Gopal Gopal
11 days ago

హీ

Kiran
7 days ago

I have two best friends. I will share anything with them. Am already told to this about them. They replying, we won’t change and leave for you. Take some time think, yourself. One frnd always push forwards it’s Ur life, don’t make decisions on small incidents think twice before u taking the decision

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